 My
family is like many other families: parents, children,
grandparents, extended family, living in a community where
there is a doctor and a hospital, where people go to work,
children go to school, neighbors walk their dog, people
play pool at the local bar, police officers keep a watchful
eye, and the village council meets once a month.
My family is like many other families. We have dreams,
aspirations and strengths. We also have lots of drive
and spirit. My parents, for example, got married with
the defiance of the young, insisting that everyone who
opposed their marriage was wrong. They broke a tradition
of living the life of shrimpers, shepherds, or masons
and launched a successful business. Their level of education
was limited and yet they kept themselves informed, loving
music, art, literature. My father understood the meaning
of community, successfully running for elections several
times throughout his life. Yes, like other families, we
have many riches.
And yet, my family is unlike many other families. When
I was an adolescent, something foul entered our home.
It was barely perceptible at first but became all-pervasive
over time. Excessive drinking at the bar, excessive
spending, rumblings at the village council, police interventions,
harsh words, inappropriate words, followed by profound
sadness, morbid thoughts, inability to get out of bed,
doctor visits, hospital visits. None of us understood,
none of us could name the enemy until many years later.
And because ‘it' remained unnamed we also
did not know how to bar the enemy from settling into
our hearts, a bit deeper every day.
Eventually we had a name for what had come into our
family - my father was diagnosed with bipolar disorder
in the mid-80s. We saw the pills in the pillbox, lot's
of them, we dried each other's tears, we fought
public embarrassment, we analyzed my father's
character traits, we consoled him, we set ultimatums,
we slammed doors in anger, we blamed this or that relative,
we blamed ourselves, we kept friends out of the house,
we questioned our own sanity, we left home early, we
married young. The enemy had a name but we were totally
in the dark about how to wage a successful war against
him.
Twenty years later my family is celebrating its resilience.
Like old miners, we are rediscovering the rich ores
we left behind. My brothers and sisters – and
there are seven of us – are in loving relationships,
successful in their respective jobs, adventuresome,
spirited, and loving life each in their own way. There
is a deep, almost inexplicable bond between us. There
are many family gatherings with fond memories of my
father, and waitresses who comment on how much he contributed
to the community in spite of his illness. I hear there
is even talk at the village council of naming a new
street after him.
And then there are the quieter moments when we reflect
on how much we would have welcomed more support and
assistance from the outside world.
My own personal commitment to offering support and
assistance to families like mine has been a thread woven
through my life and career. I became first a nurse
and then a psychologist, and have been working as a
clinician and administrator of mental health services
in the US and around the world for the last 25 years.
CareinAction.com is the result of my decision to see
what might be accomplished if the technology of the
internet were harnessed as a vehicle to get better,
more useful information and support to even more people.
Is it possible, I wondered, to use the world wide
web as a way to connect families like ours not only
to good information and skills, but also to each other?
Care In Action is more than a place where you find information.
It is designed to serve as a community that surrounds
your home, a virtual village that supports you, nurtures
you, guides you so you can live passionately and completely
in spite of the illness in your midst.
I believe completely in your family's ability to travel
this road with confidence, courage, and connection to
each other and I'm commited to making sure you
have all you need to believe it, too. I am bringing
people to your home who will guide you in supporting
your ill relative and preserving the beautiful essence
of you and your family. These guides are not all professionals
working in the field of mental health. In fact, I deliberately
tried to avoid this, preferring to recruit professionals
with varying expertise. Your needs are many, and
having resources which address those needs from only
one angle seems insufficient to me.
I hope this website will bring you the sustenance you
are looking for. As we at CareinAction.com grow
and change, I hope you will contribute your wishes and
suggestions for expanded ways we can serve you and empower
your family to face the journey of care safely, courageously,
and consciously.
My sincere wishes to you and your family,
Bea Dixon, Founder |
