Empowering you to respond safely, consciously, and
courageously to emotional and behavioral crises.		  
   
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REVIEW THE BASICS
Reality IV

Caregivers of people who have mental illness often experience their own lives as being chaotic, or out of control...

The ripple effects of a loved one's mental illness are felt throughout a family system. Caregivers live on ground that can seem to shift under their feet; everything that once felt solid can seem to quake and move. In such changeable, unpredictable conditions, well-meaning caregivers often find themselves reaching in all directions at once: chasing possibilities, reacting to events, trying to be vigilant, seeking answers, managing their own feelings, trying to assert control and not overstep their bounds...all at the same time.
 

How many of these experiences have you had? Check the boxes next to the rows describing experiences you can recall having since you started your caregiving journey...
Walk on eggshells
Are constantly on the look-out for signs of trouble
Make frantic efforts to find solutions to the problem
Attempt to control the situation
Wait for another crisis to happen
Tentatively readjust their life goals
Can't regain a sense of normalcy
Lose a sense of routine about their daily lives
Lose sleep, have nightmares
Forget themselves
Do things right, then make mistakes
Pull it together, then lose it
Wonder what to say, what not to say
Wonder what to do, what not to do

 

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Naming Your
Experience

 

Reflecting on your responses to the checklist above, let yourself think back over the course of your caregiving journey to date.

 

The text at the top of the page suggests that living with mental illness in your family system can be compared to living with an ongoing earthquake. Does that metaphor ring true to you? How would you describe the experience? What has the impact been on your life? Where are you today in your process of living with this sense of chaos?